I barely started liking my Daughter a few years ago. I think because we are both females, I have high
expectations of her. She had traits that I did not like and I can truly say that I eliminated them starting at a young age. This too (above), we both worked on - she did the work and I instilled in her that she is 1000% capable and continue to support/push because I see that as one of her strengths and not because I'm a bat-shit crazy Asian mom that wants straight A's. But I am DEFINITELY strict and reasonable.
I don't know when it happened but when it happened, I was overwhelmed with love and joy. My Daughter is a beautiful, well mannered, articulate, socially perfect, solid teenager. I respect her and love her so much it makes me cry. She is a true testament that hard work pays off. I had her when I was 20. The first 10 years of her life I was just trying to do the right thing........piano, cello, ballet, Korean school, etc. I let her chill in elementary school, started warming her up in middle school, that in high school she couldn't fuck around. High school, I got pretty militant.
My point is you're never really done parenting. I was just telling my Siss the other day, that it's exhausting but it must be done. I can take my children anywhere and they will be great. One conversation with them, you can see how they are concerned with being polite and present. Training that becomes characteristics.
Kinda emotional for mee, but I am so proud of my lovely Daughter.
24 comments:
This is beautiful...We need more parents like you. Keep up the good work and may god keep giving you the strength to keep on. xoxo
Such an accomplishment, congratulations to not only your daughter, but you as well :)
your amazing lina! she has the perfect mom :)
It is such a treat to get to know you a bit more personally. I think it is so generous of you to share that though I'm sure you've always loved your daughter, it took you a while to start liking her. I'm not a parent myself, but I'm sure so many parents have felt the same way but didn't realize they could share that experience with anybody else. I know that even as a little child, my mom and I would butt heads on everything and it was like pulling teeth for us to get along. Now my mom is my best friend, and my source of strength and I would imagine your daughter would feel the same about her wonderful mother. Children are products of their parents choices, and it sounds like you have made great choices in order to raise great children. Congratulations to you and your daughter on her stellar grades!
so wonderful and inspiring
can you be any more real than this? <3 i love your blog for this...
Thanks for sharing this..I love your blog and it is so nice to see you show a little more personal stuff about yourself and with your children.
I have to be honest and just say I felt this way in my own parenting and I didn't know how to say it. You did a good job of expressing it articulately and emotionally. I appreciate it! thanks so much! I had my son young as well and I know I need to push a little more harder if I want results like this!
Thanks again for the inspo. Sorry this is a long comment!
Isabel C.
This is my first time commenting..:) I've been a long time follower of your blog and I have to say that as a parent (I have two little girls, one I also had in my early 20s), I admire and respect this. Well done!
you are such an amazing mother. your daughter is lucky to have you... and she will be forever grateful for the outstanding life you are creating for her. <3
love your honesty. i have three daughters... love to hear you say this. i don't have a sister and i lost my mom a year ago. i need more women to help me realize that all the hard work will pay off. thank you! love your blog and all of your fashion advice.
Amy
so amazing! this totally inspired me..although my baby is only 11 months old..i hope i will be as successful as a parent as you are..and i hope he will be as well rounded as your children are!
As a new mom of 2 love following your blog and seeing how you balance your social and professional life with family life! I come from a strict Indian background so look to you for inspo when my 2 kiddies grow up. Thank tou!
Not to offend, but I don't understand the first sentence of your post: what does it mean to "barely started liking" your daughter?
So you did not love/like your own daughter until a few years ago?
Is there some subliminal joke that flew over my head?
Can someone enlighten me on this b/c no one else seems to have a problem w/ that statement....
Anon I had the same feeling when I read that first sentence including the 'because we are both females' part. I must have missed something. Her daughter is amazing and she obviously wants her mom to love her and its sad that Lina did not like her because she was not meeting her 'expectations'.
Just to clarify, Lina was not suggesting that she didn't like her daughter because they are both females. She said that a likely reason that she has such high expectations for her daughter is that they are both females, and she therefore knows what her daughter is capable of. I could understand having a problem with that first statement if Lina was clearly a neglectful or abusive mother, which she is not, but otherwise it is perfectly reasonable for a parent to temporarily not like their child without being damned for it. I may be presuming too much here, but it seems like Lina recognized that the qualities that she did not like in her daughter were a failing on her part and instead of allowing those qualities to become too ingrained, Lina worked hard to instill better qualities in her daughter in order to improve their relationship. I respect her decision to be so candid about the imperfections in her relationship and how she worked hard for the relationship she shares with her daughter now.
its a hormonal thing. daughters gravitate more to fathers and sons to their mothers. its not personal, females just clash more. similar to how it is with friendships. obviously their relationship has changed and matured through time. weren't you guys ever moody teenage girls? you can love someone but don't always like them.
You think it's good parenting to announce that on a blog that your daughter has access to? But then again you also promote anorexia and disturbed body image. I will no longer read this blog.
Anon 7:25 my thoughts exactly. Sad.
some people might call it honesty, but that first sentence sounds totally immature and heartless...
it sounds like something a typical MTV "teen mom" would say about their child...
wow...it blows my mind how a mother could just barely start to like her own flesh and blood until they became a teenager... what a mindf*ck...
i don't care what kind of bad habits a child has or poor personality traits, but you don't just announce something like that in a public blog her daughter can read... scary as f*ck... no wonder her daughter gets straight A's... trying to win her mother's love her whole life... wtf???
Just shows not everyone is meant to be a mother . I can't believe any mother would say that about their child, shows how much of a selfish, materialistic, asshole you are to your kids.
That is not being honest, its being cruel. Get over yourself already.
Never reading this stupid woman's blog again
I find it unfortunate that you are instilling the message that your approval is conditional on "perfectionism."
I find it unfortunate that you are instilling the message that your approval is conditional on "perfectionism."
Knowing this bitch she's probably jealous of her daughter....That she weighs less than her. She is fucking a crazy Korean 1
She obviously loves her daughter and is proud of her. I'm sure you guys can all remember a time when your parents didn't like the way you were..but of course they love you ( thats what unconditional love is called). As a parent, I'm sure you don't like various traits that your children have..thats why you discipline them..and show them right from wrong. I don't understand how people can speak negatively of someone who is being a good parent and actually is actually guiding their kids towards the right direction and showing them that hard work pays off.
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